Hiro's Bad Luck
by Neev
Summary: Shuuichi sleeps over at Hiro's appartment and Hiro thinks about his relationship with his best friend.


Title: Hiro's Bad Luck  
  
Author: Neev  
  
Email: neev@piratemonkeys.net  
  
URL: http://www.piratemonkeys.net  
  
Pairings: Hiro + Shuuichi (one-sided), Yuki x Shuuichi (implied)  
  
Warnings: Minor angst  
  
Summary: Shuuichi sleeps over at Hiro's appartment and Hiro thinks about his relationship with his best friend.  
  
Comments: Just a little Hiro drabble thingie...He sits in the back of my head and angsts, so I wrote this to appease him somewhat. I don't think it helped... -__-;  
  
Shuuichi slept at my place tonight. It's a fairly common thing for him to do that. He'll fight with Yuki and then come here to cry about it and eventually, he'll fall asleep on the couch, curled amongst the pillows. Then, like a good friend, I'll cover him with a blanket before going to lie in my own bed and not sleeping, because I'm thinking about him.   
  
Yeah, thinking about Shuuichi.   
  
I've been doing that a lot, even when he's not here. Or maybe because he's not here. He used to sleep here a lot more than he does now. We'd just crash at my place or his place when we were tired, and it didn't really matter. We both had two houses, practically. I think he still has some of the clothes I left over at his house, actually.  
  
Of course, that was then. This is now. Now Shuuichi only sleeps here when he can't be with Yuki. It's not that I mind, exactly, or that I'm jealous, but…well, okay, it is that I mind. And I'm jealous. I guess I thought that it'd always be just Shuuichi and me. I mean, what are the odds of a ditz like him falling in love? Pretty high, I guess. He would do something dumb like that.  
  
Not that I have any room to talk.  
  
Of course, he doesn't see it like that. For him, there's me and there's Yuki and there's not a problem, because Shuuichi loves everyone, one way or another, and loving one person doesn't get in the way of loving another. I know he does care and I know that together, we're going to make it to the top as Bad Luck. But…  
  
…But he's lying on my couch dreaming of Yuki Eiri. I know he is.  
  
I wish he were dreaming of me. Just once, I wish he would dream of me. Because I'm the one who's always been with him, from the very beginning. I'm the one that's always there for him, when no one else is. I'm the one that protects him, even though he might not know it. I'm the one that will be there at the end of the road. I'm not the one who makes him happy though. I'm not the sun his world revolves around. Despite everything I do for him, I can't be that to him and I wish I knew why.   
  
So I bite back the tears I want to shed and pretend that I love Ayaka when he's around and he'll never know.   
  
I did think, for a time, that I loved Ayaka. We have fun when we're together. It's hard to love a girl that went on her first date with you just to get you to sell a million CDs though. It's hard to love a girl that's never around, that you never speak to about anything remotely important. At least with Shuuichi I know that I can tell him anything and he'll listen. He might not understand, but he'll listen and he'll care, even if all he can do is stare at you with those puppy-dog eyes of his.   
  
I just wish...I wish that I'd known the extent of my feelings before it was too late. It seems painfully unfair that I would realize that I love him only after I've lost any chance of ever being with him. But then again...as ironic as it is...I think the reason I realized I loved him was because he was taken by someone else. When I saw them together on TV and Yuki put his arm around Shuuichi...I felt something in me tighten up. I didn't want to see it but I kept watching anyway. Kind of like a fly being drawn to a bug zapper. That's not the most elegant metaphor, but it's certainly the most fitting.  
  
"We're lovers," says Yuki Eiri. Just like that and it's...official. It wasn't like I didn't know it before, but it never quite seemed real up until then. Right then it was all to real and I didn't even want to see Shuuichi again or have anything to do with Bad Luck. Just then it seemed like I had more bad luck then I could possibly handle.   
  
I couldn't stay away though. The date with Ayaka was nice, but it wasn't the date that brought me back, it was Shuuichi.   
  
And now...here I am. In my bed. Thinking of Shuuichi again. I can't stop thinking of him.   
  
I can't stop loving him either. 


End file.
